Goodbye home sweet home

This next week marks my last week at home. Starting September 1st (well, not exactly the 1st since that’s the middle of the week, and who wants to move in the middle of the week?), I will be out on my own (well, not exactly on my own, I have a wonderful roommate, but you get what I mean). While I have lived “on my own” before (college!) it feels a little different this time. This time, I will only be 30 minutes from my parents. This time, mom and dad will not be footing the grocery bill (or the gas bill, or the rent for that matter). So instead of feeling like I am going away for a while (like leaving for college felt like), it really feels like I am splitting off from my parents, my home, and… my adolescence. I have to face the facts, and the facts are that I am going to have to be a full adult (instead of the half-real person I have been for the last 4 years).

Normally, I would be super stoked to leave my house at the end of the summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but we tend to rub on each other after a while. Under the current circumstances, I’m not such an eager beaver to leave. First, I didn’t live with my parents for a whole month of the summer – which I think makes us less sick of each other. Second, I really enjoy coming come to dinner made and (sometimes) laundry done. Third, its comfortable. I know where everything is around home, I have my routines, haunts, etc.

I think I am just scared becuase, pretty soon, I will be completely cut off and totally out of my comfort zone. I'm afraid that somehow, I will not be able to survive without the support of my parents. Which, OF CORSE I will be able to do (right?).

Today I went to my apartment to move a few pieces of furniture in. It really hit me then, that this place was going to be my home for at least the next year. And when I realized that, I was suprised that I didn't feel much sadness at all. Yes, I am still a little scared about leaving home, but now that feeling is starting to be overcome by one of excitement: I am going to be one of those hip (okay, that's questionable), 20-something-year-olds, living in the heart of the city, exploring, experiencing, and soaking up all the life that pulses through those crowded streets. How could I be sad when I have so much to look forward to? Before, I was focusing too much on the things I would miss about home, and forgetting about all the things I loved about the city and being on my own (and WHY I was moving in the first place).

So as of now, I'm ready, city. Let's do this.